I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
