Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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