I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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