Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize