Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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