True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
