she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
