I wannas sexs uuuuu
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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