Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
