standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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