Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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