even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize