I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
