So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
