he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
