it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This is my gift to your gina
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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