Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
