we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
