I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
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you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We left an ass print on the piano.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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