Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
