I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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