Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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