Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
