i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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