I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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