we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
