i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Someone shattered a urinal.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
His nipple licking is glorious
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