she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
