problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
