There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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