I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
