bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
