He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
