Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
