This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
