Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
vagina is talking i cant
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he just fucked me for my cheese..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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