We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Come share oat with me in your robe
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize