Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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