I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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