Quick, to the slutcave!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
