Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned http://tfl.nu/s0bf
  Replies (19) Good night (3795) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!" http://tfl.nu/p213
  Replies (23) Good night (1573) Bad night (7895)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C. http://tfl.nu/06rr
  Replies (23) Good night (7225) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/fx2a
  Replies (4) Good night (3006) Bad night (1964)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle. http://tfl.nu/ehxx
  Replies (4) Good night (3620) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now.. http://tfl.nu/77ss
  Replies (10) Good night (1123) Bad night (1917)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor.. http://tfl.nu/0kdc
  Replies (8) Good night (2618) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8
  Replies (8) Good night (5248) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing http://tfl.nu/c12t
  Replies (6) Good night (1412) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right? http://tfl.nu/4gj4
  Replies (8) Good night (1617) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator. http://tfl.nu/qsk4
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl. http://tfl.nu/btqg
  Replies (1) Good night (1447) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in http://tfl.nu/50v1
  Replies (3) Good night (935) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple? http://tfl.nu/ih8q
  Replies (5) Good night (291) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING http://tfl.nu/pi9e
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (157)

Randomize