Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.

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  (913): I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you. http://tfl.nu/mcnp
  Replies (69) Good night (2245) Bad night (11616)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.

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  (720): It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love. (920): You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit. http://tfl.nu/9jaf
  Replies (26) Good night (1228) Bad night (2790)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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  (412): Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned? http://tfl.nu/249l
  Replies (32) Good night (748) Bad night (6618)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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  (818): he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was.... http://tfl.nu/srrx
  Replies (31) Good night (4680) Bad night (3088)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...

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  (414): you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/w2pr
  Replies (22) Good night (6846) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

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  (702): I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know. http://tfl.nu/ro3k
  Replies (68) Good night (9588) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room

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  (267): You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room http://tfl.nu/2vn0
  Replies (12) Good night (4384) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.

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  (803): He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face. http://tfl.nu/7qv4
  Replies (21) Good night (1363) Bad night (5414)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.

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  (314): I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property. http://tfl.nu/21gv
  Replies (3) Good night (1347) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.

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  (907): Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me. http://tfl.nu/90ns
  Replies (27) Good night (904) Bad night (3298)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours

  (301): View more from Maryland

  ........yyyyyyeah that's me

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  (814): There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours (301): ........yyyyyyeah that's me http://tfl.nu/xtm1
  Replies (4) Good night (1534) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me

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  (530): I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me http://tfl.nu/myp4
  Replies (1) Good night (1030) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."

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  (478): I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you." http://tfl.nu/9ihc
  Replies (1) Good night (356) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..

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  (208): She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow.. http://tfl.nu/se5s
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache

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  (773): He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache http://tfl.nu/46b1
  Replies (10) Good night (138) Bad night (1080)

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