I cockslap morals
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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