How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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