im drinking this country out of the recession.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
