I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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