You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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