On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
