ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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