Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
