ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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