Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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