God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
