what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my being single is dangerous.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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