if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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