we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
