There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
