Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
