Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
