If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
