He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
