Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize